


this is me (reprise)

by goducksgo



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen Z humour, Post Season 1, high school musical the musical the series - Freeform, hsmtmts, music feeds the soul, post episode 10 finale, rini - Freeform, spotify is my everything, the greatest showman (2018)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22220662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goducksgo/pseuds/goducksgo
Summary: nini has a big decision to make.ricky just confessed his love for her.but with the biggest opportunity of her life in her hands, what will she choose?oreast high is doing "the greatest showman" for the spring musical! chaos and drama ensue.
Relationships: Big Red & Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series), Big Red/Ashlyn Caswell, E.J. Caswell & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Gina Porter & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Kourtney & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen & E.J. Caswell, Ricky Bowen & Gina Porter, Ricky Bowen & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts, Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Kudos: 91





	1. chapter one: as long as i have you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> picking up right where season 1 left off, this is such an amazing show i love all the characters sm!! i hope you enjoy!

“nini! you coming?” ricky popped his head through the doors of the school, beaming at me. i quickly shoved the dean’s business card into my backpack and smiled.

“you think i’d miss big red try and eat ten pancakes at once?” i linked arms with ricky and headed out to meet the others waiting to carpool to denny’s.

as we ate and celebrated our successful opening night, laughing at seb when carlos accidently got syrup in his hair, and cheering on big red as he attempted to stuff as many pancakes into his mouth as possible, i couldn’t help but think of the dean’s offer. a scholarship at the young actor’s conservatory? me?

“earth to nini? hello?” courtney’s hand frantically waving in front of me caught my attention.

“sorry! what were you saying?” i asked, rejoining the conversation.

“gina’s still never had a sleepover before, so all the girls are going to ashlyn’s tonight. we can stop by your house and mine to grab some stuff for the night, you down?” courtney explained.

“yes! oh, it’ll be so fun!” i replied enthusiastically. we proceeded to plan the sleepover, featuring a high school musical marathon, korean face masks, and karaoke, of course!

but no matter how much we giggled and laughed that night, i knew it wasn’t going to last if i decided to go to the performing arts school.

mama c picked me up from ashlyn’s house the next morning.

“hey, sweetie!” her joyous voice made me grin as i climbed into the passenger seat of the car. “how was the sleepover?”

“it was awesome! gina stuffed seven marshmallows in her mouth and almost choked trying to say chubby bunny!” we laughed together, talking about the sleepover and opening night of the production.

“so, we got an interesting call this morning.” my mom started saying. _shit, it wasn’t about the young actor’s conservatory, was it?_

“it was the dean from the young actor’s conservatory in denver. honey, why didn’t you tell us you were interested in going there?” she asked softly, turning the corner.

“i never really thought i was going to get in, courtney invited the scout to opening night and before i knew it, she was giving me a business card telling me they want me to start next week!” i sighed, exasperated. “i don’t know what to do.”

my mom parked the car in our driveway, putting her comforting hand on my shoulder. “it’s a big decision, nini, and it’s one that’s yours, and only yours to make. everyone will support you in whatever choice you make, you know that right?” she smiled.

“i know.” i replied quietly. mama d ended up surprising me with an “east high wildcats” red velvet cupcake as soon as i walked into the kitchen, reminding me of the craziness that was our opening night. my moms and i talked about the conservatory and the scholarship for a while, before i told them i was tired and retiring to my bedroom.

even though i hadn’t slept a wink at ashlyn’s house last night, i grabbed my guitar and nestled myself into the mountain of pillows on my bed and started playing.

_“as long, as i have you_

_i can live, like there’s nothing left to lose_

_unbreak every fracture in my heart_

_nothing in this world could ever tear this love apart”_

my kiss backstage with ricky kept replaying in my mind as i sang. i knew that he would understand how big of an opportunity this was, but i couldn’t bear the thought of leaving. we had just endured an emotional rollercoaster, and after it all, we were together again. frustrated, i abruptly stopped the soft strumming of my guitar. should i stay? for ricky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this chapter, it's just the start of a huge story i have planned! idk when season 2 will come out but i've heard something about september 2020? that is way too long of a wait for me, so i decided to write this fic! leave kudos if you enjoyed, i love all you readers sm, have a blessed day!


	2. chapter two: come alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tHe SpRinG mUsicAL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first few chapters will be written from nini's perspective, but it will change as the story goes on, just right now this is the best pov for me to write in :)

“where’s carlos?” gina piped up. all the drama kids were eating lunch in the cafeteria, chatting about opening night, boy troubles, and everything in between.

“i’m not sure.” seb replied, looking up from his phone. “he said he had to work on some stuff for the spring musical, i think.”

we all looked up at each other, grinning ear to ear. before i knew it, we were rushing through the hallways of east high, passing students confused as to why a herd of kids was running light-speed to the drama room.

“wait, guys, should we be doing this? we just finished high school musical, isn’t it fair to give carlos and miss jenn time to plan the next one?” ricky questioned, but no one seemed to hear him, so i grabbed his hand and burst into the room, catching carlos dancing to the soundtrack of

the greatest showman. the greatest showman?!

“guys! what are you doing here?” carlos yelped as he saw all of us. he quickly yanked the speaker’s aux cord from his phone, hugh jackman’s amazing voice suddenly cut off. “you aren’t supposed to know!”

“is miss jenn doing ‘the greatest showman’ for the spring musical?” ashlyn asked excitedly.

“no way! it’s my favourite movie!”

“mine too!”

carlos groaned in frustration as we started discussing songs, costumes, and roles eagerly.

“the dances are gonna be insane!” gina squealed.

“c’mon, carlos, put the music back on!” ashlyn encouraged.

the choreographer sighed, plugged the aux cord back into his phone, and “come alive” started blasting on the speakers. us being theatre kids, immediately burst into song and dance, bopping to the upbeat music. ricky and i sat down on the piano bench watching everyone dance.

“i guess i’ll have to watch the movie now.” ricky joked as he cuddled me.

“i guess you will.” i grinned. we watched our theatre gang belt out the lyrics with ease.

_“when the world becomes a fantasy,_

_and you’re more than you could ever be,_

_‘cause you’re dreaming with your eyes wide open_

_and we know we can’t go back again_

_to the world that we were living in_

_‘cause we’re dreaming with our eyes wide open_

_so, come alive!”_

the spring musical was going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks sm for reading! i know this was a super short chapter but i just wanted to get the plot movin ;) leave kudos if you enjoyed, comments are appreciated!!


	3. chapter three: best part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nini and kourtney are at starbucks to do "homework", and with the help of her best friend, nini makes her decision about the conservatory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all!! despite it being exam season i found some time to write chapter three :) hope you enjoy!
> 
> *i've made a spotify playlist for this work with the songs that are featured in each chapter, if you want to check it out here's the link: https://spoti.fi/30xtLwX

_you don’t know, babe_

_when you hold me,_

_and kiss me slowly_

_it’s the sweetest thing_

daniel caesar’s mellow music was playing faintly over the speakers as i sipped on my grande-almond-milk-salted-caramel-mocha, with kourtney waiting at the counter for her coffee. we were at the starbucks near school so we could _actually_ study and get some homework done. i knew that we were probably just going to talk the whole time, but it’s the effort that counts, right?

“soooo,” kourtney slid into the seat in front of me. “did you get in or what?”

“into where?” i asked, surprised.

“you know what i’m talking about, nini.” she grinned. “the conservatory. did you get the scholarship?”

i sighed. my best friend knew me too well. “i did.” i smiled softly.

“that’s amazing!” kourtney exclaimed, grasping my hands. “you’re going, right?” she asked.

“i, i don’t know.” i replied exasperatedly. “it’s so far away, and i would miss my moms, and you, and ricky and i just got back together -”

“hold up.” kourtney interrupted me. “you would seriously stay here for ricky?” she questioned.

“i don’t know, kourts. on one hand, this is an amazing, life-changing experience but on the other -”

“exactly! this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and as your best friend, it is my responsibility to make sure you take these when they come your way.” kourtney declared. “you’re an amazing actress and singer, nini. this school is for the best of the best, and you got in! don’t you want to see where this might take you?” she asked.

i nervously smiled. “i guess.” i replied quietly.

“then that’s it. you’re going to the young actor’s conservatory!” we both squealed in excitement, stifling our joyous laughter as the people in the coffee shop started looking at us.

“i’ll have to tell my moms when i get home.” i thought aloud.

“they’ll be so happy for you, nini.” kourtney said encouragingly. we reached into our backpacks and started taking out our math homework and binders when i realized how soon all this would go away. starbucks after school with kourtney, lunches with the HSM gang, holding ricky’s hand as he taught me how to ride his skateboard in the parking lot, all of it. in less than a week i would be at a different school, in a different city, with different people.

kourtney, being the mind-reading-most-amazing-friend that she is, put her hand on my shoulder and looked up at me. “relax, nini. it’s going to be great.”

i took a deep breath. “thanks.” i replied, opening up my math textbook and spinning my pen between my fingers. it was going to be great, right? i started writing down the solution to a trig problem when it hit me. i was leaving for colorado in five days. how was i supposed to tell ricky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! you guys have no idea how much i appreciated every kudos on the work, i love hsmtmts so much and am just happy to share my ideas in writing with all of you that love hsmtmts too! love y'all!


	4. chapter four: how far i'll go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some nini/ricky fluff bc they're adorable :)
> 
> nini tries to tell ricky about her moving schools as they watch "the greatest showman", but is interrupted and decides to put it off. but for how long can she hold onto this secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when i said i had a concussion and work and school and couldn't publish a chapter until next tuesday? lol
> 
> i really love this fic so much and can't wait to take it in all sorts of directions so i sat myself down in front of my laptop (low brightness, don't want my concussion to get worse!) and wrote chapter four (finally!) 
> 
> enjoy!

“i don’t get it.” ricky grabbed more of the yellow fleece blanket from me and wrapped it around himself.

“what’s not to get?” i asked, looking up into his soft, brown eyes which were intently focused on the tv in my room. we were watching “the greatest showman”, at my boyfriend’s request, as he had only ever watched the first 27 minutes of the film and wanted to understand the plot for the upcoming musical. “jenny kisses barnum as a goodbye from the tour. she told him she didn’t want to sing for him anymore because he was too focused on himself.” i explained, snuggling up closer to ricky.

“but why? she didn’t have to ruin his relationship with charity by kissing him in front of all those people! couldn’t she have just told him she wanted to quit the tour instead of making it a big thing?”

ouch. that stung a bit.

“uh, i don’t know, babe. it’s based on a true story so i guess that’s how it happened in real life?” i shrugged, continuing to watch michelle williams sing and dance in her mansion.

“yeah, okay, that makes sense.” ricky nodded along, resting her head on my shoulder.

i loved these moments. time didn’t matter when we were together. nini and ricky. ricky and nini. we were like two peas in a pod. for now at least.

the blonde actress on the screen finally finished her ballad and ricky sighed.

“i’m tired, baby. how much more is left?” he whined, scrunching his nose. i couldn’t help but giggle at his cuteness when he did so.

“it’s almost over, ricky. but i do need to tell you something.” ricky nodded, grabbing the remote to turn the movie volume down.

“so, you know about the art school scout at opening night, right?”

“nini, you did so amazing, it was her loss she left early -”

“no, no babe, that’s the thing, she -”

“nini! ricky! pizza’s here!” my mom’s voice echoed from the foyer downstairs.

“is it okay if we talk later, nini? i’m starving and i can smell the pizza and breadsticks from here.” ricky said, giving me his most adorable smile. i leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. standing up and holding out my hand.

“come on. the pizza and breadsticks await.” i grinned. he took my hand and we walked side by side, chatting about the movie and our abundance of math homework we had yet to start.

after dinner, we finished the rest of the movie and even though ricky wouldn’t admit it, he loved every minute of it. as if it wasn’t obvious from his humming of “this is me” while we were doing math. an hour later, ricky had given up on his quadratics homework and was yawning as he scrolled through instagram on my bed.

ricky smiled as he liked gina’s new photo of her and ashlyn posing in front of ashlyn’s fireplace, and i knew i couldn’t tell him about the conservatory just yet. i just wanted to enjoy this, us being us, as long as i could. i would tell him tomorrow.

“something on your mind, baby?” ricky interrupted my thoughts. “you’ve been staring at your textbook for a while.” he rubbed my feet, tickling me.

i laughed and shook my head. “nope. just a bunch of boring old mathematical calculations up in this noggin.” i replied, knocking on my head softly.

the rest of the evening was perfect. not eventful, but just perfect. ricky left around nine, mama d telling me they would drop him off on their way to the movies (they were always super paranoid he was gonna break his arm skateboarding home in the dark). my moms were going to a drive-in movie theatre to watch “the silence of the lambs”, and i would’ve gone with them, except for the fact i had school tomorrow at eight in the morning. ugh. school. but it is what it is, i guess.

“i’ll see you tomorrow.” ricky kissed me and waved goodbye along with my moms as they descended the porch steps. i waved back, shivering from the icy wind and closing the door swiftly.

i heard the car engine turn over and the three driving away. i made my way back to my room and wondered what to do with the time i had. i could pack, of course, but i didn’t want to be reminded of the fact that i was leaving this place. salt lake city. utah. my home.

i checked my phone. the time _9:13_ shone brightly in my dimly light bedroom. i sighed, making my way back downstairs to our piano. nothing passed the time better than some songwriting or singing. i was in the mood for the latter. i positioned myself on the piano bench and straightened my back (my posture was horrendous, mama c was always on me about that) and began to play.

_“see the line where the sky meets the sea, it calls me_

_but no one knows, how far it goes_

_if the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me,_

_one day i’ll know, if i go there’s just no telling how far i’ll go.”_

i played the last chord and let it ring through the empty house. i had to go to the conservatory. i had to. ricky would understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks sm for reading everyone! ik its kind of a slow burn right now but it'll speed up soon! (hint hint: time jump in the chapter five!)
> 
> ily all, stay safe!


	5. chapter five: changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nini's left for colorado, leaving everyone else behind in salt lake city. the spring musical's getting into gear, but with all that's happened, it definitely won't be like the production of HSM. 
> 
> "the world changes, and we change with it."  
> \- scorpius malfoy, harry potter and the cursed child (one of my favs!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! hope you're all doing super great, because our friend ricky - well, isn't. 
> 
> first chapter in ricky's perspective! hope you enjoy :)
> 
> *the song for this chapter is "changes" by XXXTENTACION (the spotify playlist link is here: https://spoti.fi/30xtLwX)

ONE MONTH LATER

i mindlessly turned the corner and approached my locker, swiftly turning the combination lock and grabbing the textbooks inside.

it’s been a month since nini left east high. left us. left me. i can’t say it’s been easy. i miss her. it seems like yesterday we were waiting at the bus stop - we were going to the movies after school, and it was too far to walk - and nini sat me down and told me about the conservatory. was i happy for her? of course! it’s nini. my best friend and girlfriend rolled into one amazing, kind, selfless human being. i was so happy for her to have this chance to go to a renowned school with all sorts of talented kids and she would just fit right in -

until she admitted she got the offer on opening night. **opening night.** i couldn’t believe it. she had kept the biggest news ever a secret for a week, and had to leave the next day?

long story short, we fought. and by the time the bus got here, nini broke up with me. she got on the bus and without another word, she was gone. i heard from gina that her flight to colorado the next day was around noon, and that i could’ve gone to her house to see her one last time, but i didn’t want to. the things she said, the things **i** said - there was no taking back those words. this breakup hurt.

“hey, ricky!” someone’s voice rang out behind me. i turned my head to see carlos running after me like a madman waving a notebook. “you dropped this.” he said with a smile, slightly panting as he handed me my worn-down biology notes.

“uh, thanks carlos.” i smiled best i could as he handed it to me.

“no problem.” the student-dancer-slash-choreographer looked up at me with an expression i couldn’t quite read.

“um, i gotta get to english, but i’ll see you around, ok?” i replied, gesturing to the time on my phone.

“yeah, yeah, of course. just, let me know if you ever want to talk.” the tenth grader smiled softly.

“will do.” he quickly turned the other way and headed to his own third period classroom as i lethargically walked to mine. at this point, everyone knew nini and i had broken up, and were pretty bummed about it, considering the fact that seb and carlos had made such a big deal when their “troy” and “gabriella” finally fount their way back into each other’s hearts again. i grimaced. that was a month ago. _everything’s changed now_ , i reminded myself.

(the next day, at lunch)

i was in an empty classroom finishing up my econ project with my carefully curated spotify playlist helping me focus on my work. i have to admit, my lo-fi studying music was becoming more teen-angst-breakup-y these days, but can you blame me?

_baby, i don’t understand this_

_you’re changing, i can’t stand it_

_my heart can’t take this damage_

_and the way i feel, i can’t stand -_

someone tapped me on the shoulder, making me jump and yank out my headphones.

“what?” i yelped, kinda annoyed. i looked up to see ashlyn looking down at me, looking just a tad guilty.

“um, miss jenn has some announcement she’s making in the drama room. you coming?”

“oh, uh, y-yeah. just one sec.” i quickly closed my laptop and shoved it into my backpack, following ashlyn to the crowded drama room. i could barely see miss jenn as she was swarmed by theatre kids, not excluding ej, gina, seb, carlos, and kourtney.

she shushed the students trailing behind her and stood up on a black-box-thingy (nini told me what those were called but i forgot) and cleared her throat.

“east high drama enthusiasts! the final applause of our success of a winter musical will forever ring in my ears, but the time has come to commence a new journey, just as exciting and adventurous, perhaps even more.” a gleam of excitement sparkled in her eyes. “i am thrilled to announce our spring musical, a production of ‘the greatest showman-‘” chatter and voices erupted throughout the room. “will kick off next friday with our first round of auditions! that is all.” miss jenn descended the box-thing as the sound of drama kids frantically discussing the topic of auditions echoed throughout the small room.

auditions. friday.

i looked over the crowd of students to see gina looking at me with another expression i couldn’t quite read. she grabbed her phone from her pocket and looked like she was texting someone.

my phone vibrated. she was texting me.

i unlocked my phone and went to our messages.

_you’re trying out for the musical, right? - gina 12:39pm_

i sighed and typed back,

_i guess. do i even have a choice? - ricky 12:39pm_

her response was almost instantaneous.

_ofc you do. the question is, do you want to? - gina 12:40pm_

i paused for a moment, thinking about my answer. yeah, i did try out for the production “high school musical” as way to get, you know, her back, but now that she was gone, did i want to get involved in another musical?

_yeah, i think i do. - ricky 12:41pm_

_ok, then. - gina 12:41pm_

i glanced back up at gina and she was nowhere to be found. smart. the noise in here was getting pretty loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading everyone! with semester two starting tomorrow i wanted to get this chapter out there for all you lovely people to read! chapter six will be up asap :) 
> 
> \- annika


	6. chapter six: you are the reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ej and ricky talk. that's kinda it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! work the last few days has been kinda rough but i was super inspired to write some ej-ricky stuff for this fic so i wrote this instead of doing my chem homework! enjoy!
> 
> also the last two chapters have been kinda long, upcoming ones will probably be shorter because of the limited time i'll have to write .. just wanted to let yall know :)

the last few days were hectic. everyone was trying to pick their audition songs (miss jenn posted her list of approved “the greatest showman” songs two days ago) and figuring out which part they wanted to play in the show. gina asked me this morning what i wanted to do and i told her i didn’t really care. being cast as troy for high school musical was tough. like really, really stressful. all the time. so i didn’t mind which part i got, as long as i got to hang out with my new theatre friends.

big red even stepped up to be co-stage manager with natalie, which i got to admit, impressed me a lot. since we came back to school after winter break, my best friend was also in robotics club, at the recommendation of mr. mazzara, and was doing really good in that too. i’m happy for big red, but with him always busy with ashlyn (what’s up with them by the way? they’re spending a lot of time together considering they’re just friends on the robotics team) i haven’t had much time to hang out with him. and with nini gone, well, let’s just say i’ve got a lot of free time on my hands.

i was in the music room before school trying to pick my audition song but couldn’t decide between “never enough” and “tightrope”. after 5 more minutes and looking over the guitar chords and lyrics i quit thinking about the upcoming musical and played a different song instead.

_“there goes my heart beating, ‘cause you are the reason,”_

i delicately strummed my guitar as i sang.

_“i’d climb every mountain,_

_and swim every ocean_

_just to be with you_

_and fix what i’ve broken_

_‘cause i need you to see_

_that you are the reason -”_

the door bursting open startled me and i nearly fell out of my chair.

“sorry, uh, ricky i didn’t realize anyone was in here.” ej stammered, looking sheepish as he stopped himself in his tracks.

“it’s fine. i was gonna leave anyways.” i shrugged, putting my guitar back in its case. ej still looked uncertain and grabbed a nearby chair, pulling it closer to me and sitting down.

“uh,” ej started again. “i know we aren’t super close but if you ever want to talk about stuff - like anything - i have decently working ears, you know.” the senior looked down at his vans as he talked.

i looked up at the letterman-jacket-wearing guy in front of me. “i’m good, thanks.” i replied curtly, zipping up my backpack.

“c’mon, ricky. you still hate me for what happened last year?” ej said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

i put my guitar case down and sighed. “i don’t hate you, ej. i’m just not up for talking with my ex-girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend about her breaking up with me and moving to another state. okay?”

“okay.” he said quietly. we kinda just sat there in silence for a hot minute before ej spoke up.

“is that song what you’re singing for auditions?” he asked.

“um, no, it’s not even on miss jenn’s list, it’s not from ‘the greatest showman’ at all.” i answered, quirking an eyebrow. “haven’t you seen the movie?”

ej shrugged. “i don’t watch movies.”

“you’re telling me musical-obsessed-will-kill-anyone-to-meet-ben-platt ej caswell hasn’t watched ‘the greatest showman’”? i joked.

“i didn’t have a lot of time last year to watch stuff, i guess. water polo and track kept me super busy plus with my dad breathing down my neck about my grades -” ej trailed off. “my netflix account kinda went untouched for a couple months.” he finished.

“oh.” i replied. there was another moment of silence between us before i decided to ask a question. “are you going for the lead for the musical?” as soon as it left my mouth i knew it was dumb to ask. _of course he’s going for the lead, stupid. he’s ej caswell._

“i’m not that sure, actually.” ej said, surprising me. “i know it’s my last year and all, but i have to do really well this semester to meet my GPA minimum for this athletic scholarship next year and the musical takes up a lot of time -”

“facts.”

“and i don’t know, i’m just not really into drama anymore.”

_did an alien or something take over this guy? not into drama anymore? who even is this?_

i shoved my thoughts back into my head before slowly nodding my head. “uh, yeah. school and grades and whatnot.”

ej laughed a little. “at least you’ll be there to be the star. i can’t imagine miss jenn not picking you to be the lead again, your performance as troy was pretty good.”

_a sort-of compliment from ej? what the heck was happening?_

“i’m not going for the lead either. high school musical, that was just a one-time thing.”

“now you really sound like troy.” ej grinned. the bell rang, making me jump and look at my phone. _8:05._ huh. the time just flew by.

“i got to get to calculus, mrs. taylor is super strict and if i get another late my dad’ll kill me. i’ll see you around, okay?” ej slung his backpack around his shoulders and hurried to the door.

“yeah, okay.” i replied. he disappeared around the corner in less than a second. i grabbed my stuff and lazily made my way to my econ class. _if i was late to class my dad wouldn’t even blink an eye. heck, i skip class all the time and he doesn’t notice._ i thought as i stored my guitar in my locker. _i guess ej’s dad really cares about him._

the rest of the day was uneventful. unless you count big red accidently spitting gum onto seb’s hair and carlos skipping his afternoon classes to help him fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading and for all the kudos! i love this story so much (i think it'll be around 20-30 chapters, i'm not sure yet) and i can't wait to write more when i get a chance! have a blessed day <3


	7. chapter seven: brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nini’s impression of her new school, plus a well-needed talk with her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! it’s been a rough last couple weeks — my laptop broke and everything on my hard drive (including this story) was erased, so it took awhile for me to get back on track with this fic, but i’m writing on my phone now so hopefully i can upload lots more chapters in the next month! enjoy :)

my first week at the conservatory was, let’s say, hectic. between trying to catch up on the academic material,picking my arts electives and getting to know the school, i didn’t really have a lot of time to connect with my friends back home. other than my daily phone call with my moms letting them know how i’m settling in, i only got to talk to kourtney once, mostly talking about my new classes, new teachers, new everything. 

i was lying on my dorm room bed doing some math homework when my phone buzzed. ben platt’s magnificent voice belting out “waving through a window” rang throughout the small room. 

“kourtney!” i exclaimed, relieved to see my best friend’s face, albeit on my phone screen. 

“nini! how’s it going my wonderfully talented friend?” kourtney asked chirply.

“it’s not bad,” i spun my pen around my fingers. “i mean, my classes aren’t too hard, except for ballet on tuesdays and thursdays, and there’s this really talented girl in my musical theatre class and my roommate said not to mess with her and i guess it’s actually been really stressful -“

“nini.” a soft voice interrupted my rambling. “take a breath, would you?” kourtney grinned. 

i laughed softly. “sorry.”

“so, it’s been kinda stressful, huh?” my best friend asked gently.

“yeah.” i sighed. “everyone here is so competitive. it’s like being in some new york city glee-drama-filled nightmare.” i closed my open textbooks and sat up against the headboard. “all the girls hate each other, because they’re all after the lead in every single production the school puts on, and the guys are so loud and rude all the time.” kourtney listened on and nodded along. “also for a school where we have to wear uniforms and seems super strict you would think the kids wouldn’t party every night and pass out drunk in the hallway, it’s a lot, kourts.”

“seems like it.” she said sympathetically. “as your best friend,” i grinned. “and your go to person for advice, i have to ask: do you want to come home?” 

there was an unmistakeable silence that lingered between us for a moment. 

“i, i do. i want to come home, kourtney.” i tried to smile but i felt my heart break. “i feel like this isn’t where i’m supposed to be, but at the same time, everyone was so happy for me getting into this place and i feel like it might put me on the right path for my future, but i just don’t want to go to class, or meet the people, or do anything here anymore.” 

kourtney gave me a supportive smile and thought for a moment.

“i don’t want to make your decisions for you, but i know you have the courage to make that choice, nini.”

“i’m not super sure about that, kourts.” i said quietly, wringing my hands together. 

“you know what? i’m gonna send you something on snapchat, just wait a second and watch it. remember  that nini. the one who could belt out a song in her living room without a care in the world. because she knows whats right for her in any situation.” 

i was slightly confused when kourtney gave me a quick goodbye, and even more confused when a snapchat notification came moments later.

i plugged a pair of earbuds into my phone and pressed play. a smile crept onto my face as soon as i realized what this was.

_ 2013.03.05 _

_ 8:15pm _

_ a video of me and kourtney dancing and singing to sara bareilles in my living room, recorded on her old ipod.  _

“don’t run, stop holding your tongue

maybe there’s way out of the cage where you live,

maybe one of these days you can let the light in,

show me, how big your brave is!

say what you want to be,

and let the words fall out,

honestly, i wanna see you be brave!”

i watched the rest of the video grinning at the two 10 year old goofballs singing their hearts out. 

and right then, i knew. i didn’t have to force myself to keep going to the conservatory, especially when i had my loving friends and family back in salt lake city. i’m coming back to east high.


	8. chapter eight: worst in me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ricky learns that nini’s coming back to slc. on friday, nini is welcomed back with   
>  auditions in t-minus 7 hours. what could go wrong?

no way in hell this was actually happening. my ex-girlfriend, the only person i’ve ever said, you know, is coming home. 

“you okay there, ricky?” big red asked, looking up from his gaming console. “you look a little deer-caught-in-the-headlights.”

“um, nini’s coming back.” i replied quietly. 

my best friend, understandably shocked, put the xbox controller down and looked up at me with wide eyes. 

“she’s what?” 

“she’s coming home, big red. she’ll apparently be back friday.” i sighed, lying down on the beanbag chair.

“friday? but that’s so soon, there’s no way she’s leaving that crazy cool school of hers, wait, who told you?” big red asked.

“gina just texted me. apparently nini talked to kourtney a couple days ago and decided to come back to east high.” i took a deep breath. 

“you know it’ll be okay, right? i mean, you don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to, and everyone understands what happened between you two-“

i shot big red a meaningful look. 

“sorry.” he apologized, glancing at the clock behind me. 

“dude, it’s like almost midnight. shouldn’t you call home or something, at least let your dad know you’re here?” he prompted, tossing me my phone from the couch. 

“oh, uh-“ i turned on my phone and flipped it over to see the bright numbers 11:49 flashing back at me. “y-yeah, i’ll give my dad a call.”

i stood up from the chair and quickly dialed my dad’s number. what i didn’t expect was for a female voice to answer.

“hello? who’s this? shoot, this isn’t my phone - mikey?”

i stalled for a moment before quickly hanging up. no way this was happening. not again. not like todd.

friday

“mom? have you seen my light blue hoodie?” i shouted from my room. 

“i think it’s in the laundry!” mama d shouted back from the foyer. 

shoot. i guess i’ll just wear my light grey east high hoodie. some good luck couldn’t hurt today on my first day back, right?

the drive to school was unusally quiet. i guess my mom knew i was nervous about going back to east high, despite just missing the one week after winter break. 

julia michael’s voice was light and soothing on the radio.

“ _but the worst in me doesn't want to work on things,_

_but the best of me wants to love you,_

_but the worst in me doesn't want to._ ”

twenty minutes later i was being embraced by kourtney, both of us sqealing in excitement as we hugged in the hallway. 

“nini! i can’t believe you’re actually here! like here, here!” my best friend exclaimed. 

“i can’t either.” i beamed, walking alongside kourtney to our homeroom class.

she caught me up on everything, including the drama that was auditions, happening after school. 

the rest of the morning sailed by, basically just a flurry of hugs and “welcome back, nini!” until lunch. 

“hey, um, don’t look now, but ricky and ej are behind us in line.” gina whispered to me as we were served french fries and cheesburgers on our red trays. 

i bit my lip and looked back, eyes locking with ricky’s just before quickly whipping my head back. 

“you just had to look, huh?” gina teased. 

i laughed quietly but kept picturing ricky’s face in my mind. he didn’t look sad, which was good, and he didn’t look angry either, which was good too. 

___________________

_“i thought we could tell each other anything!”_

_“and i thought you would understand why i waited to tell you!”_

_ we couldn’t look at each other as a tens e  energy entered the space between us.  _

_“are you breaking up with me?” ricky asked, quiet as a mouse. i bit my tongue. ricky’s voice was shaky, vulnerable, reminding me of the conversation we had in my living room when he first found out his parents were splitting up._

_“i’m not breaking up with you.” i said clearly._

_“so we’re just going to be an 8 hour drive apart for the rest of junior year? for all of high school?” he asked defensively._

_______________

“earth to nini salazar-roberts?” ashlyn gently waved her hand in front of my face, me coming to the realization that i had zoned out at our lunch table. 

“aha, sorry. what are we talking about?”

“auditions. i know you just came back, but we’re all dying to know: are you auditioning for the greatest showman?” gina asked. 

i shrugged my shoulders. “do i have a choice?” 

all my friends erupted into talking as they discussed last minute ideas for the production, who was auditioning for what, all the while i zoned out again. 

i noticed ricky hurriedly leaving the caf, grasping his phone impossibly tight and pulling his backpack straps tight to his body. what was going on? i had the strange urge to go and follow him to make sure everything was okay, but i reminded myself that ricky wasn’t my boyfriend anymore. adter our fight, i’m not even sure we’re friends. and that stung the most. 


	9. chapter nine: rewrite the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> audition time people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! im so happy i was able to post another chapter today, i love this show too much to leave this story hanging!

“ricky?” i heard my mom ask as i put my phone to my ear.

“hey, mom.” i answered, sitting down on a bench in the hallway and rapidly tapping my foot. 

“i know you’re at school right now, but i really need to know if you’re coming to chicago this weekend. your dad said you were still thinking about it, but it’s friday, and -“

“uh, yeah, i don’t think i’ll be able to go this weekend. too much homework.” i stammered out.

“we have a desk in your room and our wifi’s been set up for a while now, ricky. are you sure you don’t want to come over?”

i tried to ignore the hurt in my mom’s voice. 

“it’s just, i have auditions today, and those might go until six, and all the guys were going to go to laser tag tomorrow and eat lunch, i-, can i visit another time?”

“of course, ricky. call me and let me know how auditions go, okay?” my mom answered sweetly. 

“okay. bye, mom. love you.”

“love you too.”

i felt a pang of guilt as i hung up and started walking to my third period class. i mean, it wasn’t a total lie. the guys were going out to play laser tag, just not tomorrow. we were going to go next tuesday after school to celebrate ej’s 18th birthday.

but i just don’t want to go to chicago right now. i’m already stressing about mid-terms and the musical and my grades aren’t doing so good right now - i don’t need the added stress of getting to know  todd,  thank you very much.

**gina**

it was now 3:30 and the backstage drama room was adrift in chaos. people were clipping numbers to their shirts and practicing their auditions songs that it felt like i was in a zoo. a crazy-awesome-loving-frantic zoo, that is. 

“dama people!” miss jenn’s determined voice interrupted the noise. “it’s time.” she grinned from ear to ear, as everyone excitedly hurried to the stage. i quickly found a spot to warm up on the stage and before i knew it, auditions were in full swing. 

**ricky**

i was nervous the entire time people were auditioning. ej sang like god, obviously, as he charmingly gave his rendition of “million dreams” like freaking hugh jackman. i could see nini in the corner of my eye, sitting on the other side of the stage as she watched and clapped for everyone performing. 

speaking of nini, she brought tears to everyone’s eyes with her audition of “tightrope”. i felt the urge to go up to her and hug her and say she did so amazing when i basically had to kick myself to remember she wasn’t my girlfriend anymore. 

ashlyn was definitely on loren allred’s level as she belted out the lyrics to “never enough”, earning a crowd deafening applause from everyone when she finished. 

and then there was me. 

“ricky? you’re up.” miss jenn announced happily, scribbling notes for the previous audtionee and shuffling her papers. 

i cleared my throat and walked up in front of everyone, grabbing my guitar quickly, hoping no one would notice my hands were shaking as i got ready to sing. 

“you know i want you,

it’s not a secret i try to hide.”

i looked down at my checkered vans before continuing. 

“you know you want me

so don’t keep saying our hands are tied.

you claim it’s not in the cards, 

and it’s pulling you miles away, and out of reach from me.”

i tried my hardest not to look at nini as i sang.

“but you’re here in my heart,

so who can stop if i decide, that you’re my destiny?”

i strummed my guitar gently as i kept going. 

“what if we rewrite the stars?

say you were made to be mine,

nothing could keep us apart,

you’d be the one i was meant to find.

it’s up to you, it’s up to me,

no one can say what we get to be,

so why don’t we rewrite the stars?

maybe the world could be ours, tonight.”

i played the last chord and smiled softly as everyone clapped and cheered for me. the musical theatre kids really were the most supportive bunch. 

**nini**

the cast list was up. the cast list was up! me and gina practically sprinted from the dance studio we were in all the way to miss jenn’s office as soon as we heard.

“congrats nini!” 

“thanks, you too, ashlyn!” i beamed. 

the now-cast of east high’s production of the greatest showman swarmed around the piece of paper taped to the door as we chatted endlessly.

i was cast as charity, with ej as pt barnum. i have to admit, his audition for the part was spot-on, and now that all the drama from hsm was all sorted out, i was excited to see ej in his full glory. 

ashlyn was cast as jenny lind, the thought of her singing never enough on our newly renovated stage giving me amazing chills, gina was going to play the role of anne wheeler, with a killer dance solo. seb was cast as charles stratton, kourtney as the woman in gold, with a beautiful part in “this is me”.

and ricky was cast as phillip carlyle. 

the show was going to be magnificent. 


End file.
